Got a toothbrush?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
