You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
