I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
