my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think i got beer on your cat.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
