Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize