is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
