i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
