roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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