Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
