So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
