So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's never too late to be topless.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
