i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
