Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
