Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
