Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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