No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
