so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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