He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
