I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize