We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Randomize
