I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
