How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
