Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she looked like the before picture.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
