i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
