People in love make me want to vomit
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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