Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
