I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
