What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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