You can't motorboat a personality
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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