you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
