I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
