Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
