we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
