Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
