I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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