Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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