All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
