I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
