what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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