addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
