Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize