i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
