I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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