This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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