How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
