you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
