He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
