you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
