Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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