I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
