what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
