Don't make out with my wife yet
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
