cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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