we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
