OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
