they need to just BURY HIM!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
