"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
