I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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