ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
