I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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