After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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