I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize