I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
