still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
