So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
