it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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