Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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