that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize