After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
