Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Randomize
