You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
