Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
