"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
