If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize