called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
