The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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