Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
