Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
