Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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