SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
